Past or present?

I wish my past would just tell me what the bloody hell it’s doing on my shoulders, seriously, when did I invite it to hang on? Oh wait, maybe I did…?

I’ve had this heavy feeling hanging over me for a few days, and then during a conversation with my mum I suddenly realized that the pain in my shoulders was from my past. Do I remember holding on to it or allowing it to stay? No and no. But there it was, and poof it wasn’t. Just by talking about it and putting it into words. I recognized it. When I hung up the phone the pain was almost gone, and I felt much lighter. I’m not saying it’s always fast and easy, but sometimes it can be.

I know it’s easy to say leave the past in the past, but sometimes I don’t even know I’m still carrying it around. This is why talking and putting my feelings into words is so important to me. I find stuff there, in between the pondering and laying it on the table; I find my past pain and can finally let it go!

How about you? Do you live free of the past or does it sneak up on you too?

Watercolor by Anne Onsøien, all rights reserved.