Change of brain?

I´m thinking positive, I´m thinking positive… I´m very positive, and then all of a sudden I´m not, oh shit, why do I forget, and go down the same old track? Research says that the brain goes back to patterns of childhood, even if it´s not pleasant or comfortable, but it´s familiar. That explains a lot! A good friend of mine told me that the brain create thinking patterns, or paths really, which means that when you try to think new and get out of old patterns it´s kind of like driving on a muddy road. You can´t drive anywhere else than the path that´s there, that´s always been there. Sound familiar?

So it takes hard work to change these paths, it takes time. I have recently had treatment for inflammation, that´s been in my body for years. I thought I could heal myself by just thinking positive, and I´ve tried everything. Who knows how long this inflammation has been there. But I can finally live without pain! You see, the funny thing is that I didn´t feel the pain in the end, it was just always there. I worked around it. I have been “burnt out” 2 times since I was 20, which is not normal. The doctors gave me the diagnosis Chronical Fatigue Syndrome many times, and told me there is nothing I can do. But it didn´t feel right. So in the end I thought there must be something wrong with me, maybe I´m imagining the pain? So I pushed my body further, thinking one day it will be fine. It will just go away. Up and down it goes. Many of the people I´ve met along the way, has helped in their way, to get me where I am today.

In the meantime I had to live. apparently there was nothing wrong with me, so I kept going. Followed my dream, moved to Portugal, found happiness. One day last october, I found a massage therapist not far from where I live. It changed my life. The pain I had to go through to get the inflammation out, is unbelievable. But I´m better, and even if I think I am on top of the world, I´m probably on zero.

I have to change my patterns of thinking. I have to learn how to live without the pain, and not invite it back.